As children, we were dependent on adults to meet our needs for love, food, clothes, shelter, protection, stimulating activity and access to education and friendships. 

 

Not having any of these needs met constitutes neglect. Neglect may not sound as serious as abuse but it can have devastating consequences on our self-esteem, sense of self-worth and ability to engage positively with others.

Some people with neglectful childhoods are fortunate enough to meet friends or partners as adults who help them change their negative thoughts about themselves. But, often, neglected children find themselves as adults in neglectful or abusive relationships.

If we have never known consistent love or kindness from someone close to us, we may not feel or think that we deserve to be treated well. We may even punish or isolate ourselves, believing that our very presence can cause others pain. Or we may actively seek out or stay in abusive relationships, clinging to the familiarity of others ignoring our boundaries, our rights and our needs.

But the truth is that we deserve happiness just as much as anyone else. We all need love and we have a right to seek out people who care about us rather than hurt us. We also have a duty to care for ourselves as well as for others.

 

At Gateway Counselling we help you develop self-care and skills that enable you to seek and find happiness with others.

 

NCPS / BACP / UKCP accredited and DBS checked counsellors

Tel: 07817 563 389 

Email:  gatewaycounselling2@gmail.com

 

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